by Steve Lopez

Some tech support questions get asked for a while, go away, and then come rip-roaring back with a vengeance. The "HP printer question" has been a hot e-mail topic for a couple of weeks, so I've decided it's time to get this thing out on the Web.

Some Hewlett-Packard printers have trouble printing diagrams directly from ChessBase or the Fritz family of playing programs. I won't go into all of the technical ranting; I'll just cut to the chase instead.

In ChessBase 8, open up a game. Then go to the File menu, select "Print", and then "Page setup". Click the "Fonts" tab and then click the arrow in the pulldown menu next to "Font type". Change this setting from "ChessBase Standard" to "ChessBase Alternate". While you're here, make sure the font listed next to the "Diagrams" button is a font name that starts with the word "Diagram". If not, click the "Diagrams" button and choose such a font from your font list.

If you still fail to get your diagrams to print properly (which happens in a very few cases), go to File/Print/Page setup and click the "Print games" tab. Then put an "x" in the box next to "Diagrams directly".

The procedure for the playing programs' (Fritz, etc.) interfaces is similar. In the main chessboard screen, go to the File menu, select "Print", and then "Page setup". Click the "Fonts" tab and follow the procedure described above. If that doesn't do the trick, check the box next to "Diagrams directly" in the "Games" tab dialogue.

In almost 100% of the cases, these procedures will correct problems with printing diagrams on HP printers.


by Steve Lopez

Two weeks ago in ETN, I gave you the heads up on a new virus making the rounds. It seems to have about run its course, but I'm still getting an occasional e-mail with the virus attachment. Mark Penkower was kind enough to provide some additional information on this virus, called the Sircam Virus:

In the past, viruses had to use an email client (most notably Microsoft Outlook Express) to send out copies of itself. This bug has a mailer built into it, making transmission and replication easier and less detectable. Another nasty feature of this virus, is that if it is one one machine, it can spread to other machines that are attached through the Network, without any affirmative interaction between the machines.

This virus looks for email addresses within cached files. It then sends itself, (and sometimes attaches one of your personal files) to those addresses.

Some more information, as well as a necessary registry fix, can be found here.

Thanks, Mark! If you, the reader, think you've contracted this virus on your computer, please check out the link above to get the problem corrected. As I said, I think it's pretty much run its course (I received over a dozen e-mails with the virus attachment, but most were within the first three or four days of the outbreak). It's mostly an annoyance virus, rather than one that causes significant damage, but the transmission of the virus does cause the recipient's e-mail to take an eon or two to download (especially if multiple carrier e-mails are being sent from different sources). So, if you think you've contracted it, please do the rest of us a favor and check into the fix Mark submitted above.


by Steve Lopez


Longtime ETN readers might remember "Chess Embitterment" -- a handful of columns I wrote back in late 1997 in which I tried to have a little fun with my real-life chess experiences (mostly at my own expense). I've received numerous letters over the years asking why I stopped the feature. I'd love to say it's because I've not been too embittered lately, but the truth is that it's been mainly due to laziness. So I'll pop another horrid tale or two of woe into ETN from time to time. Just remember -- you asked for it.

It's been more than a year since "The Lost Art of Resignation" (ETN, July 16, 2000) and it seems that little has changed. Many online players still have a hard time resigning, preferring instead to just abandon the game and let their time run out. But recently I played one guy who really took the cake -- a 15 year old Canadian kid who compounded the offense by having no conception of the proper way to offer a draw.

Basically, it's very simple. You make your move and then you offer a draw. If your opponent rejects the offer, it's considered very bad form to offer a draw again until your opponent has done so. I couldn't find anything in the FIDE Laws of Chess, but the USCF 4th Edition rulebook has this to say:

14B5. Repeated offers. Repeated draw offers may be construed as annoying the opponent, and penalties are possible (see 20G). If the first offer has been declined, it is improper to offer another draw unless the opponent has since offered a draw or the position has changed substantially.

So what do you say about an opponent who offers a draw fifteen times in a 34-move game? What can you say? I'm not sure -- calling him a "horse's patootie" doesn't seem to go quite far enough.

The game in question was played on an Interrant correspondence server offering rated games. Here's the game, with a bit of analysis thrown in (both mine and Fritz'). The kid's name has been changed to protect the ignorant.

SL (1818) - Canadian Kid (1499) [B21]

Internet correspondence 2001

1.e4 c5 2.d4 cxd4 3.c3 dxc3 4.Nxc3 Nc6 5.Nf3 e5 6.Bc4 h6
I don't see the point of this, as Bg5 can be easily met by either ...f6 or ...Nf6. Fritz6 agrees, thinking that ...Bb4 (pressuring White by threatening to capture the Knight and create an isolated pawn) is better.
[0.56 Fritz 6: 6...Bb4 7.0-0 Bxc3 8.bxc3 Qe7 9.Ng5 Nh6 10.Nf3 Ng8 0.00/13 ]

7.Qb3 d5
Giving up a pawn for nothing. Believe it or not, this move has come up in a couple of prior contests (Pantaleoni-Vallifuoco 1975 and Jepson-Beaulieu 1996); both were White wins.

8.Bxd5 Nf6
[8...Qe7 was played in both of the previously cited games. After ...Nf6, Black's just toast.]

Ouch! Now the Black King has to bail out.

[9...Kd7 This just inaugurates a swell King hunt that gives White a winning game. 10.Qe6+ Kc7 11.Nb5+ Kb8 (11...Kb6 12.Be3+ Bc5 (12...Kxb5 13.Qc4+ Ka5 14.a3 Nd4 15.b4+ Kb6 16.Nxe5) 13.Bxc5+ Kxc5 14.Qc4+ Kb6 15.Nc3; 12.Qc4 Bb4+ 13.Nc3 Rf8 14.Bg6]

Erring on the side of caution. Fritz finds a nice winning sequence here.
[1.56 Fritz 6: 10.Nh4 Kd7 11.Ng6 Bb4 12.Be3 Kc7 13.Rd1 Bd7 14.Nxh8 Qxh8 3.72/11 ]

Here's where it starts getting weird. My opponent is just plain losing here. So what does he do? He offers me a draw. He evidently saw the big difference in our ratings and thought he could sucker me into giving up a half-point (and still get a rating jump for himself in the process). The trouble is that he offered me a draw via e-mail instead of using the applet at the site, so I couldn't accept it even if I'd wanted to. I wrote him a polite e-mail explaining the proper way to offer a draw at that particular correspondence site and then made my next move...

11.Nd5+ Nxd5
At this point, my opponent offered me a draw properly (i.e. at the site itself) which I, of course, declined. I figured I'd not hear anything more about a draw; unfortunately, I figured wrong.

Here I decided to just start hoovering the board and get my Bishop to a nice central square.

Once again, my opponent offered a draw. I won't bother to tell you that I rejected this offer, too.
[12...Bd7 13.Ng5 hxg5 14.Bxg5#]

13.Bxd5 Kf6 14.b3
Clearing b2 for my dark-squared Bishop so that it can help pile up on the e5-pawn.

Guess what? You got it -- another draw offer.
[14...Bd6 15.Bb2 Nc6 16.Rfd1 Nd4 17.Nxd4 exd4 18.Bxd4+ Kg5 19.Be3+ Kg6 20.Rac1;
14...Be6 15.Rd1 (15.Bxe6 Kxe6 16.Bb2 Bd6 17.Rfd1 Nc6) 15...Bd6 (15...Bxd5 16.Rxd5 Nc6) 16.Nh4 g5 17.Nf5 Bxf5 18.exf5 Kxf5 19.Be3]

15.Bb2 Bxf3
And he offers a draw again. What is with this kid? Either he thinks I'm blind or else he's ultra-desperate (or maybe both).

16.gxf3 Rc8
And he makes yet another draw offer.
[16...Bc5 17.Kg2 Kg5 18.Kg3 (18.Bxe5) 18...Rhf8;
16...Kg5 17.Bxe5 (17.Kg2 Kf4 18.Rac1 Nc6 19.Bxc6 bxc6 20.Rxc6; 17.Kh1 Kf4 18.Rg1 Kxf3 19.Bxe5 Rg8 20.Raf1) 17...Bc5 18.Kh1 (18.Bg3 Raf8 19.Kg2) 18...Kh5 19.Rg1 Bxf2 20.Rg4 Be3 21.Kg2 Bg5 22.Bf4 Bxf4 23.Rxf4 Kg6 24.Rg1;
1.97 Fritz 6: 16...g5 17.Rac1 Bd6 18.h4 Rac8 19.hxg5+ hxg5 20.a3 Nc6 21.Rfd1 1.16/15 ]

My counter-offer is to swap some material to get to a faster endgame.
[17.Kg2 Rc2]

Another draw offer. Pretty much anything he plays here keeps me in the driver's seat, although it's possible for me to lose some of my advantage.
[17...Be7 18.Rxc8 Rxc8 19.Rc1 Rxc1+ 20.Bxc1 Bc5 21.Kg2 (21.a3 Bb6 22.b4 Nc6 23.Bxc6 bxc6 24.Kg2 (24.h4 g5 25.hxg5+ hxg5 26.Kg2 g4 27.fxg4) ;
17...Rc5 18.Rxc5 Bxc5 19.f4 Kg6 20.fxe5 Kg5 21.Kg2 Kf4 22.f3;
17...Nc6 18.Bxc6 bxc6 19.Rfd1 Be7 20.Rd7 a5 21.f4 Ke6 22.Ra7 Bb4 23.Bc3 Ba3 24.Rc2 Bb4 25.Bxb4 axb4 26.Rb7 Rhd8 27.Kg2 Rd1 28.Rxb4 Ra1 29.Rbc4 Kd6 30.fxe5+ Kxe5 31.Rxc6 Rxc6 32.Rxc6 Rxa2 33.Kg3 Rb2 34.Rc7 (34.f4+ Kxe4) 34...g5 35.Rc6 h5 36.Rc5+ Kf6 37.e5+ Ke6 38.f4 gxf4+ 39.Kxf4 Rxh2 (39...Rxb3 40.h4 Rb4+ 41.Kg5 Re4 42.Kxh5 Rxe5+ 43.Rxe5+ Kxe5 44.Kg6 Ke6) 40.Rc6+;
17...Rxc1 18.Rxc1]

18.Rxc8 Rxc8 19.Rc1
[0.84 Fritz 6: 19.f4 Fritz has found another of its patented insanely baroque variations that (on paper) looks better for White, but which no human could possibly spot (or figure out). 19...Rc2 20.fxe5+ Bxe5 21.Bxe5+ Kxe5 22.f4+ Kf6 23.Rf2 Rc1+ 1.53/16 ]

And the kid offers yet another draw. There's no way I'm taking a draw here. I'm going to end up with the Bishop pair and a pawn to the good. The doubled f-pawns aren't critical -- I already have a plan to deal with them: advance the King, swap on f4, advance the remaining f-pawn, and drive ahead with my passed e-pawn.

20.Bxc1 Nc6
[20...h5 21.h4 Nc6 (21...g5 22.hxg5+ Kg6 23.Kg2 h4 24.Kh3 Kh5 25.Bf7#) 22.Bg5+ Kg6 23.Kg2 Nb4 24.Bxb7 Nxa2;
20...a6 21.h4 (21.Bd2 Nc6 22.Bxc6 bxc6 23.Kg2 g5 24.Kg3 h5 25.h4 gxh4+ 26.Kxh4 Kg6 27.Kg3) 21...Kg6 22.Kg2 Kh5 23.Kg3 g5 24.hxg5 hxg5 25.Bd2 (25.Bf7+ Kh6 26.Kg4 Nc6 27.Bd5) 25...Nc6 26.Bxc6 bxc6 27.Be3 (27.b4 c5 28.a3 cxb4 29.axb4 Be7 30.Bc3 Bd6; 27.a4 c5 28.Bc3) ;
20...g5 21.h4 g4 (21...gxh4 22.Bxh6 Kg6 23.Be3 Nc6 24.Bxc6 bxc6 25.Kh2 Kh5 26.Kh3 c5 27.Bc1 a5 28.a3; 21...gxh4 22.Bxh6 Kg6 23.Be3 a6 24.Kg2 Kh5 25.Kh3 Bb8 26.b4 Nc6 27.Bxc6 bxc6 28.a4 Bd6 29.Bc5 Bxc5 30.bxc5 a5 31.f4 exf4 32.f3 Kg5 33.Kg2 Kh5 34.Kh3 Kg5 35.Kg2) 22.fxg4 h5 23.g5+ Kg6 24.Kg2]

Otherwise the Knight gets loose. Every bit of wood that comes off the board makes my job easier.

And he again offers a draw. But look at f4 -- I can advance the f3-pawn once my King is in position at g3.

22.Kg2 g5
He sees what I'm up to and offers yet another draw.
[22...Kg6 23.Kg3 Kh5 24.f4 (24.h4 g5 25.hxg5 hxg5 26.Be3 a6 27.a4 Bb4 28.Bb6 Bd6 29.Ba7 c5 30.Bb6 c4 31.bxc4 Bb8 32.Bd8 Bd6 33.Bf6) 24...g5 (24...exf4+ 25.Bxf4 Bxf4+ 26.Kxf4 g5+ 27.Kf5 Kh4 28.e5 Kh3 29.e6 Kxh2 30.e7 Kg2 31.e8Q Kxf2 32.Qh5) 25.fxe5 Bxe5+ 26.f4 gxf4+ 27.Bxf4 Bxf4+ 28.Kxf4 Kh4 29.e5 Kh5 (29...Kh3 30.e6 Kxh2 31.e7 Kg2 32.e8Q Kh3 33.Qh5+ Kg2 34.Qxh6) 30.Kf5 a6 31.e6 a5 32.e7 a4 33.bxa4 c5 34.e8Q+ Kh4;
22...h5 23.Kg3 g5 24.h4]

[23.h4 gxh4 a)23...c5 24.Kg3 a6 25.Kg4 Kg6; b)23...Kg6 24.Kg3 Kh5 25.hxg5 hxg5 26.Be3 a6 27.Kh3 (b)27.Bb6 Bb8 28.Bd8 Bd6 29.Kh3 (b)29.Bf6 Bb8 30.Kh3 Kg6 31.Be7 Kh5) ; ; 24.Kh3 Bc5 25.Kxh4 Bxf2+ 26.Kg4 Bc5 27.f4 (27.Kh5 Kg7 28.f4 Bd6 29.fxe5 Bxe5 30.Bxh6+ Kf6 (30...Kh7 31.Bg5 Kg7 32.Kg4 Kg6 33.Bf4 Bxf4 34.Kxf4 Kf6 35.e5+ Ke6 36.Ke4 Kf7 37.Kf5) 31.Kg4; 27...Bd6 28.fxe5+ Bxe5 29.Bxh6 Ke6 30.Bf4 Bxf4 31.Kxf4 Kd6 32.e5+ Ke7 33.Ke4 Ke6 34.Kd4 Kf5 35.Kc5 Kxe5 36.Kxc6 Kd4 37.a4 Kc3 38.a5 Kxb3 39.a6 Kb4 40.Kb7 Kb5 41.Kxa7 Kc6 42.Kb8 Kb6 43.a7]

The Queenside has nothing going for it -- my two pawns can hold his pawns forever as long as they stay on light squares. My opponent correctly discerns that the Kingside is where all the action is. But does his Bishop move help? He offered me yet another draw here. (From this point on, I'll present all of my move to move analysis that I came up with during the game. This will illustrate the huge number of variations a correpondence player considers when making a move. A few after-the-fact variations by Fritz6 are also included).
[23...Kg6 24.Kg4 h5+ 25.Kg3 h4+ (25...g4 26.fxg4 hxg4 27.Kxg4) 26.Kg4;
23...a6 24.Kg4 Kg6 25.h3 h5+ 26.Kg3 h4+ (26...g4 27.hxg4 a5 28.gxh5+ Kxh5 29.Bd2 (29.Be3 Bb4 30.f4 exf4+ 31.Bxf4 Be1 32.Kg2 (32.Be3 c5 33.Bxc5) 32...Kg4 33.Be3; ; 27.Kg4;
23...h5 24.h4 g4 (24...gxh4+ 25.Kxh4 Kg6 26.Kg3 a6 27.f4 exf4+ 28.Bxf4 Bxf4+ 29.Kxf4 h4 30.Kg4 Kf6 31.f4) 25.fxg4 hxg4 26.Kxg4]

24.h4 gxh4+ 25.Kxh4 Kg6+ 26.Kg4 h5+ 27.Kg3 h4+ 28.Kg4 Bf6 29.f4 exf4 30.Bxf4]

Black does the right thing, preparing to drive back the White King by playing ...h5.
[24...h5+ 25.Kxh5;
24...Kg7 25.Kf5 h5 26.Bxg5 Bxg5 27.Kxg5 Kf7 28.Kxh5 Ke7 29.Kg5 Kd6 30.h4]

[25.h4 gxh4 26.Kh3 Kh5;
0.81 Fritz 6: 25.h4 h5+ 26.Kh3 a6 27.Bb2 Bd6 28.hxg5 Kxg5 29.Bc1+ Kg6 1.34/20 ]

But Black advances a Queenside pawn and offers a draw yet again.
[25...Bf6 26.Be3 a6 27.Bc5 a5 28.b4 axb4 29.Bxb4;
25...h5+ 26.Kg3 g4 a)26...Bf6 27.Be3 a6 28.b4 Be7 29.a3 c5 30.Bxc5 Bxc5 31.bxc5 Kf6 32.c6 Ke7 33.c7 Kd7 34.c8Q+ Kxc8 35.f4 g4 36.hxg4 hxg4 37.Kxg4 exf4 38.Kxf4; b)26...h4+ 27.Kg4 Bf6 28.Be3 a6 29.Bc5 Kf7 (b)29...Bd8 30.Bd6 Bf6 31.Bc7 Bh8 32.a3 c5 33.Bd6 (b)33.a4) 33...c4 34.bxc4; 30.Kf5 Be7 31.Bxe7 Kxe7 32.Kxg5 Ke6 33.f4 c5 34.f5+ Kf7 35.f4; 27.fxg4 hxg4 28.Kxg4;
1.38 Fritz 6: 25...h5+ 26.Kg3 Bf6 27.Bb2 c5 28.Bc1 Be7 0.81/18 ]

[26.h4 h5+ 27.Kg3 gxh4+ 28.Kh3 Bf6 (28...Bg5 29.Bxg5 Kxg5) ;
26.Bb2 Bf6;
26.Be3 h5+ 27.Kg3 h4+ 28.Kg4 Bd8 29.Ba7 Bc7 30.Be3 Bd8 31.a4 Be7 32.f4 exf4 33.Bxf4 gxf4 34.Kxf4 Kh5 35.f3 Bg5+ 36.Kf5 Be7 37.e5 c5 38.e6 a5 39.Ke5 Kg5 40.Kd5 Kf4; 26.a4 h5+ 27.Kg3 g4 (27...h4+ 28.Kg4 a5) 28.hxg4 hxg4 29.Kxg4 a5 30.Bb2 Bf6 31.Bc1;
Worse is 26.f4 exf4 27.f3 (27.Kf3 Kh5) 27...h5#;
0.84 Fritz 6: 26.h4 1.38/20 ]

Black makes another temporizing move and offers a draw again.
[26...Bd6 27.h4 Be7 (27...gxh4 28.Kxh4 Be7+ 29.Kg4 h5+ 30.Kg3 h4+ 31.Kh3 Kh5 32.Ba5 Bf6 33.Bc7 Kg5 34.a3 (34.Bd6 a5 35.a3 Bd8 (35...Bg7 36.b4 (36.Be7+ Bf6 37.Bxf6+ Kxf6 38.Kxh4 Kg6 39.Kg4 c5 40.f4 exf4 41.Kxf4) 36...a4; 36.Bxe5; 34...Bg7; 28.hxg5 Bxg5 29.Bxg5 hxg5 30.a3 c5 31.a4 a5 32.Kg3 Kh5 33.Kh3 Kg6 34.Kg4 Kf6 35.Kh5 c4 36.bxc4 Ke6 37.Kxg5;
26...h5+ 27.Kg3 g4 (27...h4+ 28.Kg4 Bf6 29.Be3 Be7 30.Bb6 Bd6 31.Bd8 Bb4 32.Bxg5 Be1 33.Bxh4) 28.hxg4 hxg4 29.fxg4 Bg5 30.Bxg5 Kxg5 31.f3 c5 32.a3 a5 33.a4 Kg6 34.Kh4 Kh6 (34...Kf6 35.Kh5 Ke6 36.Kg6 Kd6 37.Kf6 (37.Kf7 Kd7 38.g5) 37...Kd7 38.g5; 35.g5+ Kg6 36.Kg4 Kg7 37.Kf5;
26...c5 27.a3 c4 (27...Bd6 28.Be1 Be7 29.Ba5 Bd6 30.Bd8 c4 31.bxc4 Bxa3 32.Bb6 Bd6 33.c5 Be7 34.c6) 28.bxc4 Bxa3 29.Bc3 Bd6 30.h4 h5+ 31.Kg3 Be7 (31...gxh4+ 32.Kxh4 Be7+ 33.Kg3 h4+ 34.Kh3 Kg5 35.Bd2+ Kh5 36.f4 Bd6 37.fxe5 Bxe5 38.f4 Bf6 39.e5 Be7 40.f5) 32.hxg5 Kxg5 33.Bxe5;
1.31 Fritz 6: 26...h5+ 27.Kg3 Bf6 28.Bc3 Kf7 29.h4 Ke6 30.Kh3 Be7 31.Bd2 0.84/19 ]

My idea is to deflect the g-pawn away from controlling f4, allowing my f-pawn to advance.
[27.Bb4 a5 a)27...Bc7 28.h4 Bd8 (a)28...gxh4 29.Kxh4) 29.hxg5 Bxg5 (a)29...hxg5 30.Bc3 Kf6 (a)30...Bf6) 31.Kh5; 30.Bd6 Bf6 31.f4 exf4 32.Bxf4 h5+ 33.Kh3 (a)33.Kg3 h4+ 34.Kg4) ; b)27...Bf6 28.Bd6 h5+ 29.Kg3 h4+ 30.Kg4 (b)30.Kg2 Kh5) ; 28.Bd6 Kf6 (28...Bf6 29.Bc7 h5+ 30.Kg3 g4 31.hxg4 h4+ 32.Kg2 (32.Kh3 Kg5 33.Bxa5 (33.Kg2) 33...Kf4 34.Kg2 h3+ 35.Kxh3 Kxf3 36.Bc3 Kxe4 37.Kg3 Kd3 38.Bb4 e4 39.Kf4 Ke2 40.f3 exf3; 32...Kg5 33.Bxa5 Kf4 34.Bd2#; 29.Kh5 Ke6 30.Bc5 Kf6 31.Kxh6 Bc7]

[27...h5+ 28.Kh3 gxh4 (Considerably less swell is 28...g4+ 29.fxg4 hxg4+ 30.Kxg4) 29.f4 exf4 (29...Bb6 30.f3 exf4 31.Bxf4; 29...Bc7 30.fxe5 Bxe5 31.Kxh4 Bd6 32.f4 Be7+ 33.Kg3 h4+ 34.Kg4) 30.Bxf4 Bb6 31.f3 (31.Kxh4 Bxf2+ 32.Kh3 Bc5 33.Kg2 h4 34.Kf3 Kh5 35.Bc7) 31...Bd8 32.Bh2 Kg5 33.f4+ Kg6 34.e5 Kf5;
27...Bb6 28.Be3 Bxe3 29.fxe3 h5+ 30.Kh3 gxh4 31.Kxh4 Kh6 32.f4 exf4 33.exf4 Kg6 34.f5+ Kf6 35.Kxh5 Ke5 36.Kg6 Kxe4 37.f6]

Huzzah! At last!
[28.Kh3 Kh5 (28...Bg5 29.Bxg5 hxg5 30.Kg4 a5 31.a3 c5 32.a4 Kf6 33.Kh5 c4 34.bxc4 Ke6 35.Kxg5 Kd6 36.Kxh4 Kc5 37.Kg4 Kxc4 38.f4 exf4 39.Kxf4 Kb4 40.e5 Kxa4 41.e6 Kb5 42.e7 Kc6 43.e8Q+) 29.f4 exf4 30.Bxf4 Bg5 (30...Kg6 31.f3) 31.Bd6 (31.Be5) 31...Kg6 32.f4 Bd8 33.f5+ (33.Kg4 h5+ 34.Kh3; 33.e5 Kf5 34.e6 Kxe6 35.Be5) 33...Kf6 (33...Kg5 34.e5 Kxf5) 34.Kxh4 Kg7+ 35.Kh5]

[28...h5+ 29.Kh3 Bf6 30.fxe5 Bxe5 31.f4 (31.Kxh4 Bf6+ 32.Kh3 Bg5 33.f4 (33.Bc3; 33.Bxg5 Kxg5 34.Kg3 h4+) 33...Bh6 34.f5+ Kh7 35.Bxh6 Kxh6 36.Kh4 c5 37.a3 a5 38.a4 Kh7 39.Kxh5;
28...Bf6 29.fxe5 Bxe5 30.Kxh4 (30.f4) 30...Bf6+ 31.Kh3 Kh5 (31...h5 32.f4 Kf7 33.Be1 Ke6 34.Bh4 Bg7 35.Bg5 Kd6 36.Kh4 Kc5 37.Kxh5 Kd4 38.e5 Ke4 39.e6 Bf8 40.e7 Bxe7 41.Bxe7 Kxf4 42.Bc5 Kf5 43.Bb6 Kf6 44.Kg4 Ke5 45.Bc5 Kd5 46.b4 Kc4 47.Kf5 Kc3 48.Ke6 Kb2 49.Kd6 Kxa2 50.Kxc6 Ka3 51.Kb6 Ka4 52.Kxa6) 32.f4]

Now it gets easy. I have a hanging pawn pair (the pawns are also connected passers) and I'll be able to easily stop the doubled h-pawns and round them up later if necessary.

[29...h5+ 30.Kh3 Bg5 (30...Bb6 31.f3 Bd8 32.Be3) 31.Bxg5 Kxg5 32.e5 (32.f3 c5 33.a3 a5 34.a4) 32...Kf5 33.Kxh4 (33.e6 Kxe6 34.Kxh4 Kf5 35.Kxh5 Kf4 36.Kg6 Kf3 37.Kf6 Kxf2 38.Ke6 c5 39.Kd5 Ke2 40.Kxc5 Kd2 41.Kb6 Kc2 42.Kxa6) 33...Kxe5 34.Kxh5 Kf4 35.Kg6 Kf3 36.Kf6 Kxf2 37.Ke5 Ke3 38.Kd6 Kd3 39.Kxc6 Kc2 40.Kb6 Kb2 41.Kxa6 Kxa2 42.b4 Ka3 43.b5 Ka4;
2.22 Fritz 6: 29...Bb6 30.f3 Bf2 31.Bc7 Kf7 32.Bd8 h5+ 33.Kh3 Be3 34.Kxh4 1.66/19 ]

[Trading Bishops would put Black right back in the game, undoubling his pawns and giving him drawing chances: 30.Bxg5 hxg5 31.f4 gxf4 32.Kxf4 h3 33.Kg3 Kf6 34.Kxh3 Ke5 35.Kg4 (35.Kg3 Kxe4 36.Kf2 Kd3 37.Kf3 Kc2 38.Ke4 (38.Ke3 Kb2 39.Kd4 Kxa2 40.Kc5 Kxb3 41.Kxc6 Kb4 42.Kb6 a5) 38...Kb2 39.Kd4; 35...Kxe4;
30.Bh2 Bd2 31.f4;
30.Be3 Bxe3 31.fxe3 h5+ 32.Kxh4 Kf6 33.Kxh5 (33.e5+ Kxe5 34.Kxh5 Ke4 35.Kg6 Kxe3; 33.a4 Ke5 34.b4 Kxe4 35.Kxh5 Kxe3 36.Kg5 Kd4 37.Kf5 Kc4 38.Ke5 Kxb4 39.Kd6 Kxa4 40.Kxc6 Ka5) 33...Ke5 34.Kg6 (34.Kg5 Kxe4 35.Kf6) 34...Kxe4 35.Kf6 Kxe3 36.Ke6 (36.b4 Kd4 37.Ke6 Kc4 38.Kd6 Kxb4 39.Kxc6 Ka3 40.Kb6 Kxa2 41.Kxa6) 36...Kd3 37.Kd6 Kc3 38.Kxc6 Kb2 39.Kb6 Kxa2 40.Kxa6 Kxb3]

[30...a5 31.Bxa5;
30...Kf6 31.f4 Bxf4 32.Bxf4 Kg6;
30...c5 31.f4 Bf6 32.e5 Be7 33.Bd6 Bd8 34.f5+ Kf7 35.Kh5 h3 36.e6+ Kf6 (36...Ke8 37.Kxh6 Be7 38.Be5 Kd8 39.Kg6) 37.Kxh6 Kxf5 38.e7 Bb6 39.e8Q;
30...Bd2 31.f4]

Black's h-pawns are stopped cold and his Bishop is tied to the h4-pawn's defense. Meanwhile, my Bishop is preventing the advance of his Queenside pawns. If he drops either of his Queenside pawns, I'll have passers all over the board.
[31.Kf3 Bf6 (31...Bd2 32.Bd8 h3 33.Kg3 h4+ 34.Kxh3 Be1 35.f4 Bd2 36.Kxh4 Bxf4 37.Kg4 Bc7 38.Bg5) 32.Ke2 (32.Kg2 Kg5 33.f4+ Kg4 34.e5 Kxf4 (34...Be7 35.e6 h3+ 36.Kh2 Kf5 37.Kxh3 Kxe6 38.Be5 (38.Kg2 h4 39.Kf3 Kf5 40.Be5 Bd8 41.Kg2 Kg4 42.a3 a5 43.a4 Be7 44.Bc7 Bf6 45.Bxa5) ; ; 32...Kg5 33.f4+ Kg4]

[31...c5 32.f4 Be7 33.e5 (33.f5+ Kg5 34.Be5 (34.Kg2 Kg4 35.Kf2 h3 36.Bg3 h4 37.Bh2 Bf6 38.Ke3 Bd4+ 39.Ke2) 34...Bd8; 33...Kf5 34.Bd6 Bd8 35.e6 Kxe6 36.Be5 Kf5 37.Kg2 Ke4;
31...Kf6 32.f4 Bh6 33.Kxh4 Kg6 34.f5+ Kf6 35.Bd8+ Ke5 36.f6 Ke6 37.Kxh5 Bf8 38.Kg6 Bd6 39.Kg7;
31...Be7 32.Be5 Bg5 33.f4 Be7 34.f5+ Kg5 35.Bc7 Kf6 36.Kxh4]

The pawn takes a step toward the promotion square and kicks the Bishop a good one, just to show its lack of respect for the clergy.

And here came another draw offer. The draw offers are becoming more shrill now: "WHY won't you take a DRAW here???" I replied simply, "Because I don't think it's drawn". I truly don't -- I'm know I'm killing the guy.

33.Ba5 Ke6
And he offers a draw yet again.
[33...Kg6 34.Be1 Be7 35.Bxh4 Bxh4 36.Kxh4 Kh6 37.e5 Kg6 38.e6 Kf6 39.Kxh5 Kxe6 40.Kg6 Ke7 (40...Kd5 41.f5 Kd4 42.f6 Kc3 43.f7 Kb2 44.f8Q Kxa2 45.Qb8 (45.Qd6 Kxb3 46.Qxc6 a5) 45...a5 46.Qb6 Ka3 47.Qxa5+ Kxb3 48.Qc5; 41.Kg7 Ke6 42.Kg6 Ke7 43.f5 (43.Kf5 a5 44.Ke5 a4 45.b4) 43...Kf8 44.f6 c5 (44...a5 45.Kf5 Kf7 46.Ke5 a4 47.b4 a3 48.Kd6 Kxf6 49.Kxc6 Ke5 50.b5) 45.a3 a5 46.Kf5 a4;
33...Ke7 34.Be1 Kd6 35.Bxh4 Bxh4 36.Kxh4 Kc5 37.f5 Kd4 (37...Kd6 38.f6 Ke6 39.Kxh5 Kxf6 40.Kg4 Ke5 41.Kf3 Kd4 (41...Ke6 42.Ke3 Ke5 43.Kd3 Kd6 44.Kd4 c5+ 45.Kc4 a5 46.Kb5 Ke5 47.Kxc5 Kxe4 48.a4 Kd3 49.b4 axb4 50.Kxb4) 42.Kf4 Kc3 43.e5; ]


Black's in deep doo-doo. The Black King can't play to d5 through f5, so it's shut off from the Kingside. And the h4-pawn must fall (with the h5-pawn to follow), after which the White King will be in position to support the advance of the passed pawns. It's all over but the crying. Here's some analysis of what might happen next:
[34.Be1 Kd6 a)34...Kf7 35.Bxh4 Kg6 (a)35...Bxh4 36.Kxh4 Kg6 37.f5+ Kh6 38.e5) 36.Bxf6 Kxf6 37.Kh4 Kg6 38.f5+ Kf6 39.Kxh5 c5 (a)39...Ke5 40.Kg6 Kxe4 41.f6) 40.a3 (a)40.e5+ Kxf5 41.e6 Kxe6 42.Kg4 Kd5 43.Kf3 Kd4 44.Ke2 Kc3) 40...a5 41.a4 Ke5 (a)41...Kf7 42.e5 Kg7 43.Kg5 Kf7 44.e6+ Ke7 45.Kg6 Kf8 46.f6 Kg8 (a)46...Ke8 47.Kg7) 47.e7; 42.Kg6 Kd4 43.f6 c4 44.bxc4 Kxc4 45.f7;
b)34...Bg7 35.Bxh4 Bh6 36.Bg5 Bxg5 37.fxg5 Ke5 38.Kh4 (b)38.g6 Kf6) 38...Kxe4 39.g6 Kf5 40.g7 Kf6 41.g8Q;
c)Shredder 5.32: 34...Kd6 35.Bxh4 Bc3 36.Bg3 Kc5 37.Bf2+ Kd6 38.Kh4 Bd2 3.51/22 ; 35.Bxh4 Bxh4 a)35...Bc3 36.Bg3 Bf6 (a)36...Bd2 37.Kh4 (a)37.f5+ Kc5 38.Kh4 Kb4 39.e5 Bh6 40.e6 Bf8 41.f6) 37...Kc5 38.Kxh5 Kb4 39.f5 Be3 40.f6 Bc5 41.f7 Bf8 42.Bf4 Kc3 43.Bh6; 37.e5+;
b)35...Bg7 36.Bg3 Bf6 37.Bh4 Bg7 38.Bg5 Bc3 39.Kh4 Bd2 40.Kxh5; 36.Kxh4 Kc5 (36...Ke6 37.Kxh5 Kf6 38.Kg4 c5 39.a3 a5 40.a4 Kg6 (40...Ke6 41.Kg5 Kf7 42.f5 Ke7 43.e5 Kf7 44.f6 Ke6 45.Kg6 Kxe5 46.Kg7) 41.e5; 37.f5 Kd6 38.Kxh5 Ke5 (38...Ke7 39.Kg6 Kf8 40.e5) 39.Kg6 Kxe4 40.f6]


(That bit of Shredder5.32 analysis tucked in there is kind of interesting. I finally got around to putting all 2 GB of the Fritz Turbo Endgame onto my hard drive a few nights ago. I loaded the final game position and fired up Shredder. Then I looked at the clock and noticed that Battlebots was about to start, so I forgot all about the game and ran upstairs to watch TV. I came back about ninety minutes later, realized that the engine had been running all this time, and saw that Shredder had performed about 600,000 tablebase accesses. After snuffing out the smoke that was rolling out the back of my computer, I cut and pasted the analysis into the gamescore.)

Anyway, my opponent abandoned the game (as well as all of his other games at the site) after 34.Be1. He had over thirty days left on his clock, so I was going to have to wait over a month for my point (assuming, of course, that he didn't come back). About five days shy of the time control, the site administrator made a programming error and a month was added to everyone's time -- so I had to wait another month for the point to be registered. Oy!

If you followed all of this Huebner/Wolffesque endgame analysis, my congratulations (and sorry about the bleeding eyeballs). And if you feel the need to say, "But, Steve, you got the full point -- why do you feel such embitterment?", go back and have a glance at the endgame analysis above. Man, that represents literally hours of work! And those hours were wasted because my opponent didn't have the consideration to either play on or resign -- he just let the game drop.

What's especially irritating about the game was the number of draw offers. I never really got angry at my opponent (despite the nagging suspicion that the guy thought I was idiot enough to even consider a draw in this game), but I definitely wanted to show him that the game wasn't a draw. However, the guy never gave me the chance. I wouldn't have cared if he'd resigned, but his dropping of the game after all of his draw offers was like a final slap in the face. I really really wanted to TDF this guy (if you don't know, don't ask. Yasser might tell you if you ask nicely) after all of that grief.

Anyway, the game's a win regardless (there was no way I was going to screw that ending up) and, just for chuckles, I had ol' Shredder take a gander at it in Deep Position Analysis mode:

[34...Be7 35.Bc3 (35.Bxh4 Bc5 (35...Bb4 36.Bg3 Be7 37.f5+ Kf7 38.e5 Bf6 39.e6+ Kg7 40.Bh4 Bc3 41.Bd8+- 5.31/17 ) 36.Bg3 Be7 37.f5+ Kf7 38.e5 Kg7 39.Bh4 Bc5 40.e6 a5 41.Bd8+- 5.29/17 ; 35...Kf7 36.f5 Ke8 37.e5 Bg5 38.Be1 Kf8 39.e6 Kg7 40.Bc3+ Kf8 41.f6+- 7.65/17 ;
34...Kd6 35.Bxh4 Bc3 (35...Bd4 36.Bg3 Ke7 37.Kh4 a5 38.Kxh5 Kf7 39.e5 a4 40.bxa4 c5 41.f5+- 5.50/14 ) 36.Bg3 Kc5 37.Bf2+ Kd6 38.Kh4 Bd2 39.Bg3 Ke7 40.Kxh5 Kf6 41.Kg4+- 5.40/19 ]

[35.Bc3 Kf7 (35...Be7 36.f5+ Kf7 37.e5 Bg5 38.Be1 Kf8 39.e6 Kg7 40.Bc3+ Kf8 41.f6+- 7.20/18 ) 36.f5 Bg5 37.e5 Ke8 38.Be1 Kd7 39.e6+ Kd6 40.Bxh4 Bd2 41.Bg3++- 5.24/18 ]

[35...Ba5 36.Bg3 Bb6 37.Kh4 Kf6 38.Kxh5 Bd4 39.f5 Bc5 40.Kg4 Bd4 41.e5++- 6.20/18 ]

36.Bg3 Kf7 37.Kh4 a5 38.Kxh5 a4 39.e5 axb3 40.axb3 Be3 41.f5+- 5.27/18

Every line's a whopping great win for White, so I'm sleeping a bit better now. And, besides getting the point in the tournament, I have the consolation of knowing that the kid's been frozen out of the site (for dropping out of so many games) until sometime in mid-2002. Gonna be a colder winter in the Great White North, it seems...

Until next week, have fun!

You can e-mail me with your comments, suggestions, and analysis for Electronic T-Notes.